Second Bloomers as Caregivers
I read recently that the most stressful age for women is 49. When I thought back, I agreed totally! Our son was still at home, I was working full time, my mother was living with us and having increasingly significant health problems. In the emergency room with her one day, I truly felt like I was standing on the edge of my sanity…and about to lose it.
Many of us Second Bloomers are caregivers, facing similar challenges. My good friends Mary Beth Sloan, Derek Ferebee, and Laura Levitan, have a wonderful place online where you can receive support. Below is their latest newsletter article. If you choose, you can contact them to receive the newsletter yourself. And best of luck to you; what you’re doing is wonderful and difficult. – Kathleen Logan
“Caregivers and Self Care”
by Mary Beth Sloan
How are you today? Are things going smoothly, or is it a troublesome day? Or, should we ask is it a troublesome morning, hour, or moment? How many times have you cleaned up a mess today? How many times have you changed the bed this morning? How many times have you repeated an answer to the same question? Was the routine broken yesterday because somebody visited and now you’re paying for it?
Caregiving requires one to learn to live with constant interruptions, frequent demands on time and patience, and feelings of being hopelessly trapped. The list of stressors never ceases when you’re caring for someone else. So, what do you do to defuse the frustrations, quell the anger, and cope with the feelings you have?
One suggestion is to keep a journal. Writing is a healthy way to vent, record and learn from your experiences. Buy a spiral notebook and keep it handy. Jot things down as they happen, or write the day’s story in the evening when things are quiet. If the idea of journaling appeals to you, please give yourself permission to write without worrying about spelling, grammar, neatness of handwriting, or format. The writing in this journal is for you alone. Become your own pen-pal and pour your soul into it. Honest, fervent entries can dissipate negativity as effectively as conversation with someone who understands can. Feel the relief writing can bring.
To test this suggestion, we invite you to write us right now. Write us about something that happened, good or bad. Write about how you feel, or write about the things you do to preserve your mental and physical health. Reach out to your fellow caregivers and share your hard-earned wisdom. We can all learn from you. Just click on: info@booksasbridgesinc.com and write.
Take care,
Mary Beth, Laura and Derek
Books As Bridges, 1413 Ariola Dr, Pensacola Beach, FL 32561, USA
Dear Kathleen and all Second Blooming Caregivers, I thought I’d take my own suggestion and write to you. To all caregivers I say thank you for the job you’re doing. On those awful days when you want to cry, remember you’re putting your own life on hold today so you can save another’s. Both Kathleen and I have cared for loved family members and wondered if there would ever be time again for me. There will be, count on it. All the nurturing skills you’re developing now are teaching you how to care for yourself in the future. This know-how makes for spectacular second bloomings. Your spring-time will come.
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